Abyss by BTS’ Jin Shows Music’s Cathartic Power
Two hours before Jin, vocalist and member of Korean group BTS turned 28 on Thursday (in Korean timezone it was about to be Friday, December 4), he released Abyss, a song he had been working on for a while, on YouTube and SoundCloud. Abyss means “a deep or seemingly bottomless chasm”; and that’s what listening to this song feels like: conflicted, melancholic but hopeful.
There may have been times when you showed your work to everyone after shedding your blood, sweat and tears to bring it alive, but after sometime you start wondering, “Do I really deserve this success?” “Am I that passionate about my craft/hobby compared to the first time I took it up?” When we confront ourselves with such questions, most of the time we see the easy way out of it, i.e. to brush it aside and focus on our work. But for how long you’ll keep them locked up in your mind forever? Ultimately you have to face the inner conflict. Imposter syndrome persistently makes you feel like this all the time. That’s what Jin felt.
In this song, he’s sharing his inner turmoil, the reason behind it being burnout and imposter syndrome. He’s lost and conflicted, not knowing what to feel about his accomplishments. But, he wants to face it head-on.
Holding my breath, I step into my sea, I go
I face myself, so beautiful yet crying so sorrowfully
To myself in that darkness,
I want to go to you and tell you that
Today, I want to know you better, yeah
(translation credit: https://www.bangtansubs.com/abyss)
The song ends on a hopeful note, a promise to himself that when he’s more comfortable with himself, he’ll listen. And that’s what it means to love yourself: one can only love themselves when they are in tune with their feelings, but it’s not an easy task and self-love is a dynamic process.
Produced and written by BUMZU alongside Jin, RM, Pdogg, listen to Abyss on YouTube and SoundCloud.
